Post by butler on May 3, 2011 17:27:15 GMT
Trying to recover of yesterday's shock defeat to AFC Fylde,
we decided to ask some pertinent questions to The Blazers at County FA Headquarters. We sent along our reporter E. Vostik.
We knocked on the door, then rang the bell after seeing a face peering from behind a curtain.
"Where are you from" queried the intercom?"
"I'm Erroll Vostik a reporter from Skelmersdale"
"Call the police" I could hear the order being given "it's a Scouser from Skem".
"No I'm not" I shouted through the letterbox, "I'm a Skemmer from Skelmersdale....and I only want to ask you some questions"
After ten minutes of moaning and groaning, I heard the padlocks being opened. "Come in Mr Vostik - is that your real name?"
"No, its really Yuni Bond" I answered honestly.
I was greeted by a silver-haired gent, still dressed in his pyjamas, but with a famous 'Blazer' on top.
"I'm Sir Henry Ignacios Tomkins Face, but you can call me by my initials if you want".
"Ok SHITface," I started, "how come the 'play-offs are so one-sided ie one team plays two days previous, and the other has over 10 days rest". "I'm aweare of the handicap system in horseracing but not in football".
He looked puzzled, and looked across at his nurse for guidance.
"Time for your medicine Mr Face" she said.
"Just let him answer my questions" I implored.
"Let me tell you ssssunny" he stammered.
"All us retired gents at the FA have signed contracts with SAGA, and we have holidays booked on10 May. How much do you think it would cost to keep that Shearings bus in the car-park for another 10 days or so, just to appease you Scousers....ssssorry Skemmers" "Furthermore, it is a proven fact that Eastbourne always have lovely weather in second week in May."
"Yes", I replied "but surely football must come first".
"It does", he said, "we all play in the Over-80's Sprightsome World Cup....in fact we would have won it last year only for that cheating Havelange, and that is why we are going down early to acclimatise".
"So, your League is irrelevant in your view" I suggested.
"Your putting words into my mouth" he said, taking out his teeth.
"So answer me this" I questioned, "does it not make for a better League, if a team 19 points in front of another takes the promoted spot". He looked across at his nurse, who could only shrug.
"You seem to suggest Mr Bond that our knowledge of football is summed up in our name FA - well I can tell you Mr Bond we don't even know that much".
Seeing that he was getting tired our intrepid reporter decided to call it a day.
As the we walked across the car-park we could hear the screams, as the nurse attempted to peal off his blazer.
Always look on the bright side of life...
we decided to ask some pertinent questions to The Blazers at County FA Headquarters. We sent along our reporter E. Vostik.
We knocked on the door, then rang the bell after seeing a face peering from behind a curtain.
"Where are you from" queried the intercom?"
"I'm Erroll Vostik a reporter from Skelmersdale"
"Call the police" I could hear the order being given "it's a Scouser from Skem".
"No I'm not" I shouted through the letterbox, "I'm a Skemmer from Skelmersdale....and I only want to ask you some questions"
After ten minutes of moaning and groaning, I heard the padlocks being opened. "Come in Mr Vostik - is that your real name?"
"No, its really Yuni Bond" I answered honestly.
I was greeted by a silver-haired gent, still dressed in his pyjamas, but with a famous 'Blazer' on top.
"I'm Sir Henry Ignacios Tomkins Face, but you can call me by my initials if you want".
"Ok SHITface," I started, "how come the 'play-offs are so one-sided ie one team plays two days previous, and the other has over 10 days rest". "I'm aweare of the handicap system in horseracing but not in football".
He looked puzzled, and looked across at his nurse for guidance.
"Time for your medicine Mr Face" she said.
"Just let him answer my questions" I implored.
"Let me tell you ssssunny" he stammered.
"All us retired gents at the FA have signed contracts with SAGA, and we have holidays booked on10 May. How much do you think it would cost to keep that Shearings bus in the car-park for another 10 days or so, just to appease you Scousers....ssssorry Skemmers" "Furthermore, it is a proven fact that Eastbourne always have lovely weather in second week in May."
"Yes", I replied "but surely football must come first".
"It does", he said, "we all play in the Over-80's Sprightsome World Cup....in fact we would have won it last year only for that cheating Havelange, and that is why we are going down early to acclimatise".
"So, your League is irrelevant in your view" I suggested.
"Your putting words into my mouth" he said, taking out his teeth.
"So answer me this" I questioned, "does it not make for a better League, if a team 19 points in front of another takes the promoted spot". He looked across at his nurse, who could only shrug.
"You seem to suggest Mr Bond that our knowledge of football is summed up in our name FA - well I can tell you Mr Bond we don't even know that much".
Seeing that he was getting tired our intrepid reporter decided to call it a day.
As the we walked across the car-park we could hear the screams, as the nurse attempted to peal off his blazer.
Always look on the bright side of life...